Marionette’s Mute Musings V2

There is this fear of the past that i’m holding on, and I’m pinpointing at the fact that I’m not in the mode of loving myself. I mean, to love one self for real.

[...]

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are required to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, copy and paste this note, erase my answers and enter your own, tag people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Coca-Cola Vanilla Coke
2. Last phone call: To dad, arranging backpacking stuffs.
3. Last text message: To Bedely, asking for posting dates
4. Last song you listened to: Roxette – How do You Do
5. Last time you cried: sometime after 16th May (was happy that I passed practicum)
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone: Just once, just once in my entire lifetime.
7. Been cheated on: Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: No
9. Lost someone special: Yes, many special people. And more on the way. I hate it.
11. Been drunk and threw up: The first and the last time, when I was 15.
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12.Blue
13.Red
14. Black
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Yes
17. Laughed until you *nearly* cried: Yes
18. Met someone who changed you: Yes
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes. Thanks, to all my ceiling cats.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: No.
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 10-20% Then again I set really high standards about “know them in real life”
23. How many kids do you want to have: As many as possible, but 3 will make a good number.
24. Do you have any pets: My one and only ‘Snuggy’ the dog.
25. Do you want to change your name: If I wasn’t Badi, I could have been Charlie. Still, Badi is Badi, Charlie is Charlie.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Exams. And solo movie marathon outing.
27. What time did you wake up today: 6:44am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Typing assignment for KISSM.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: The end of KISSM and BTN for me.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: After Christmas, 2008
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Be more self assertive, self confident, and start loving myself for real. Because I’m not doing all the 3 things.
32. What are you listening to right now: Lecture in the KISSM slot in DDKA hall.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes. Over the internet.
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now: Somebody owed me RM350, another owed me RM100, and I’m not receiving my pay from the institution YET.
35. Most visited webpage: Facebook, Travian, Gmail, Onemanga, engadget, lowyat.net, soccernet
36. Whats your real name: Yee Tzyypirng
37. Nicknames: Badi, Teh (pronounced tea as in english tea) C Ping,  
38. Relationship Status: Looking for one (getting poked by my parents)
39. Zodiac sign?: Scorpio.
40. Male or female?: Male.
41. Elementary?: Sekolah Rendah Kebangsaan Sung Siew
42. Middle School?: Sekolah Menengah Teknik Tawau
43. High school/college?: IPGM Kampus Temenggong Ibrahim – Universiti Putra Malaysia
44. Hair colour: Black
45. Long or short: near bald, 1-1-1.
46. Height: 173cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: I guess yes. I like woman easily.
48: What do you like about yourself?: I don’t really know.
49. Piercings: No.
50. Tattoos: A 2D barcode which stores all my information behind my neck, lower part. Just in case I died in circumstances that I cannot be identified.
51. Righty or lefty: Born lefty, trained righty.
FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: Had to perform a forced circumcision due to life threatening circumstances.
53. First piercing: None.
54. First best friends: I think it was when I first met Sheng Liang.
55. First sport you joined: Football.
56. First vacation: with my parents before they divorced in Kundasang.
58. First pair of trainers: Form 3
RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: Plain rice with chicken.
60. Drinking: Coca-Cola Vanilla Coke
61. Doing: This questionaire while listening to lectures.
62. Listening to: Lecture
63. Waiting on: Its about time to finish.
YOUR FUTURE :
65. Get Married?: Yes. It’ll be a miracle when it happens. Sky fall down, pigs will fly.
66. Career?: Teacher. English Teacher.
WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: Both, but hugs I prefer.
69. Shorter or taller: Taller please.
70. Older or Younger: Older please.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous please.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Nice stomach please.

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker.
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: No.
77. Drank hard liquor: Once, and final. That was when I was 15.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: I don’t wear them.
79. Sex on first date: Never.
80. Broken someone’s heart: Unconsciously, once.
82. Been arrested: Never.
83. Turned someone down: Unconsciously. Without me realizing.
84. Cried when someone died: Yes. And more deaths will come.
85. Fallen for a friend?: Yes, unfortunately they get taken by the time I fall for them.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: No, I’m still trying to.
87. Miracles: Yes.
88. Love at first sight: Yes. I see through many facades.
89. Heaven: It’s a state on earth.
90. Santa Claus: I’m one. Actually, there are many of us.
92. Angels: I’ve seen them, been near them, but I won’t touch them. I wished that I knew them earlier.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No.
95. Did you sing today?: Yes, I did.
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: No. I won’t. It cost me badly. Really.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: I doubt it. I don’t want to relive myself. I hate myself enough.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: The day I went out with my family, (reunion), and sat on the same table, ate the same food. After, after… 13 years.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Yes, because I can’t hold back my emotions and I don’t know what to do with it.
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: Yes, by yours truly.

Now I feel like wanting to go back in time to change who I was.

Leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn’t matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Don’t send a message, leave a comment on here. Next, re-post this in your notes and see how many people leave a memory about you. It’s actually pretty cool (and funny) to see the responses.
Go! Go! Go!
1. How long have you known me?
2. When and how did we meet?
3. What was your first impression upon meeting / seeing me?
4. Did you like me at all?
5. Do you still think that way about me now?
6. When’s the last time you met / saw me?
7. What reminds you of me?
8. What is my best attribute?
9. Will I end up being successful in the future?
10. Do you think I can dance?
11. Am I misunderstood by many?
12. Have you ever had a crush on me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
14. What do I listen to the most?
15. Are you going to post this in your notes and see what I say about you?
I highly recommend this for narcissists everywhere

Today is my last day at school, and also ironically it is Teacher’s Day. No, my school celebrates it on Monday, but my students in both my classes have convinced me to turn up on Monday (during the ceremony), and at the very least, I can only oblige to honour a promise between us. [...]

Thus I seek

I sought out Love

I expected Happiness

I discovered Pain

I learnt Redha

I sought out Justice

I expected Truth

I discovered Might

I learnt Mercy

I sought out Strength

I expected Power

I discovered Weakness

I learnt Humility

I sought out Revenge

I expected Wrath

I discovered Anger

I learnt Forgiveness

I sought out Fortune

I expected Wealth

Pauperness

I learnt Gratitude

I sought out Salam

I expected Hospitality

I discovered Afhwan

I learnt Nikmat

Thus I seek;

I sought out to know, redeem and liberate myself

so,

I expected enlightment and discovery,

yet,

I discovered that life is a long journey,

for,

I learnt to move on, no matter how bad or good the times were.

-DJoker Razgriz Gustav Beouwolf XIII-