Marionette's Mute Musings V2

Artist: Eiffel 65 [Contact]

Music by M.Lobina/M.Di deco/G.Randone, Lyrics by G.Randone/M. Gabutti
mixed by:Mauro Di Deco

My name is Johnny Grey,
It’s just a name and I know that for you it’s the same,
The world I know seems not to know me
Here’s my number I need a call I’m Johnny Grey.

My name is Johnny Grey,
It’s just a name for you it’s the same.
The world I know seems not to know me.
Here’s my number I need a call.
Excuse me it’s Johnny Grey,
not Tommy Day, my name’s Johnny Grey.
I can’t remember my phone number
All the calls I get are mistakes.
And I holler and make no noise.
As I said before,
my name is Johnny Grey.

My name is Johnny Grey
wont you play with me.

My name is Johnny Grey……..

Johnny Grey

Excuse me,
Yeah my name is Johnny Grey.
Yeah of coarse it’s just a name but for you it’s the same.
You see the world I live in,
doesn’t really seem to know me.
Here’s my number,
wont you give me a call please.
My name is Johnny Grey.

My name is Johnny Grey……

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For some weird reason, even knowing the lyrics, the beats for this song by the now “gone into some abyss of forgotten realm” Eiffel 65 is somewhat… “Spurring”. Yeah. That’s how I’ll put it. It spurs me on, gently, in times that when I feel down. Somehow, it feels like the 3 OSTs from Honey & Clover which I’ve posted.

It doesn’t promise a good future, nor neither am I accepting that its going to be bad, but life must go on, and somehow some way, some day, some time, I’ll find a place where I can fit in snugly, just like a seedling finding a spot to root itself in between all the other flowers. Yeah. Life’s that wonderful. It hurts, and sometimes you don’t find that end, that location, but yeah… Life is wonderful when you press on… Every moment I breathe, every moment I triumph over adversaries, every victory through defeat, (which sometimes, surrendering = victory in my life, many times) every passing moment.

For some reason, although I’m grateful I’m alive, I’m actually holding my head high up, squaring my shoulders, and just like many others, I want to move on for the tasks and challenges ahead. That’s how it has been, and that’s how hopefully it’ll be.

Well… Excuse me, I’m Johnny Grey…

Tonight (29th July 2007) I went out with Zharif. (Zorro). So we went to USJ, The Summit despite the fact that I was injured. Just to procure a set of earphones for the “dead” SHS 8000 that I owned prior to it.

So I ended up with MDR J10 from Sony. Won’t say its the best, but at least when tuned properly, it sounded more or less like the SHS 8000, without the sharpness. Yet, the bass is rich, and the treble and midrange sounds good, and deep, even though like I said, it lacked the sharpness. I attribute it to the fact that its placed outside of the ears, rather than it is an in-ear piece.

But what was clear, from the whole thing throughout the journey, was the view of Genting Highlands Resort. So high up, so far out.

It was few glimpses, but memorable ones. It reminds alot of people of the times when the air was much cleaner, the skies were much blue-er, clearer.

And it reminded me of how many times I’ve always got deja vus. It seems good.

Sometimes, its good when you can look at the end of the horizon and see that rare glimpse of beauty.

And I remembered the seat of the House of Justice.

What a beautiful moment. I hope I can step there, with my family. Hopefully.

So, I crashed again yesterday.
Was on the way to Ampang Park to join some youths. But I crashed, badly.
The backplate’s gone, the backlight (right) is also gone.

The helmet’s visor is badly scratched, and today’s sunday where no shops open.

Talk about bad luck.

Yet, I’m grateful. 7 X-Rays scans, 2 head scans, and the results? Only some torn muscles on my right ankle. That’s all.

And some scratches here and there on my right and left arm, and my right knee. Amazing. I lived, and I’m typing this.

I scrolled my handphone (it got scratched badly but it saved my live again) to see what number I could call. Then somehow Choon Hsiang’s number came up. I must have missed Fattah’s number, because Fattah’s number and Aizuddin’s numbers are always the top 1-5 numbers in my list.

After a talk, I actually tried to defy my friend’s advise, to ride. But when I tried, my leg gave in. It hurted. Then I scrolled up and down again, and this time I saw Nobi (Aizuddin’s) number. I called him, and surprisingly I could just tell him “Aku selamat, tapi aku terlibat dalam kemalangan.”

Now, some people have all the luck. I don’t know. Its starting to become a triviality to me, but of course, after a good talk with Auntie Doreen, I think I’ll need to examine my level of alertness in driving.

Maybe I shouldn’t ride at all after rain.
(there were already 3 bad omens before I crashed, but luckily on the 4th [which was my accident], i didn’t “goal”)

Hmm.. Talk about some people having all the luck.

I have a side of me, which is equally crazy to the craziest, insane to the most insane of all.

Visit http://stellix.blogspot.com for more of the crazy stuff.

Muahahaha.

WARNING: Insanity detected. Heavy radiation of craziness. Advise to wear bio-mental-hazard gears. You have been warned. Approach with caution. At your own risk.

See the other side.

Korn – You’ll All Want A Single
Limp Bizkit – Rollin’ (Air Raid Vehicle)

nyahahahahahahha

To God I pray,
be they carry the Vanguard,
Thy Shield is Thy Covenant,
Conferred to us, bounty to all,
Thy Ancient Spirit Confided,
Thy Ancient Thought Permeated,
Thy Ancient Hand Wrought,
Everything, Everything, Everything,
Let my brothers and sisters be;
Like the stars high up in the boundless sky,
Wade through thy Heavens,
Stroll through thy universe,
Shining, in all their full glory,
that would even puncture through the thickest of clouds,
the invisibility of fogs and dust,
Illumine the sky, high and nigh,
That is my prayer,
Let them be make them be,
Chant out the songs of Thy Heavenly realm stream,
Utter the words of Thy Evanescence make,
Let them echo, let it echo,
I pray, I pray,
Protect them from all sins,
though thou entitle them to thy test,
let them pass, let them pass,
grant them a portion of Thy strength, a portion of Thy wisdom,
reveal to them, rip and tear asunder their veils,
and let them shine, let them shine,
just like a supernova, the brightest burning sun,
but do not let them die, yet grant them life,
I pray, I pray, to Thy mercy, to Thy Kindness,
That is my prayer,
to all my friends, even if they do not ask for it.

The sparkle in her eyes,
That wavy hair dances,
her lips whisper,
The graceful fingers linger,
So much of a beauty,
Such is a a wonderful creation,
Had God, the Almighty sat beside, me,
I would have muttered, tears flowing;
“What mysterious, wonderful, interesting…”
Before I could finish my sentence,
He grabbed me by the shoulder,
and pulled me closer; His eyes on mine, His hands on my shoulder, lovingly;
“That is where your heart, and hers, be as one, be the host,”
“Sanctify it, let the Blessed Beauty visit,”
“For I meant her for you, as much as I meant you for her.”
I nodded, but I may never understand,
But should the day ever arrive, I pray it will realize,
Perhaps I should have asked Him, but He said;
“Seek Thou what Ye have in thy heart therein, together,”
“Not alone, not apart, not, not, not, ever, seperate.”
And so I learnt, that I must have more patience,
To see things through understanding, and with spiritual affinity,
that kindled spirit within her,
“all questions do have an answer”,
Perhaps, I should ask her, and seek it together, if willing,
However so, it would always elude me,
Her charm, her grace, her beauty,
that I can only seek to learn
and learn, and learn, and learn,
Like new pages to a new book, new book to a new collection, new collection to a new library,
One world to another, one realm to the next,
From all eternity, to all eternity,
It should still elude my mind and soul,
the comprehension of a lady’s soul and mind.

Water, water,
For that youth,
Quick, quick, give him some,
for his thirst is killing him, the fire is consuming him,
Slowly, slowly, easy does it,
Not too fast, not too slow,
Not the whole fountain, but not just a drop,
Till the throat is content, flush his thirst away,
Extinguish the fire, let him bath to be clean,
So that the youth could share the water, tell the others,
come, go, gather, disperse,
the fountain can give all that one wants,
warm, sweet, cold, clear, anything,
wash the youth’s dirty feet,
clear the thoughts in this mind,
breathe in the fragrance, cool the breezes,
into his nostrils and the lungs,
water, water,
the fingers dip, the hands immerse,
the legs waddle, the body submerged,
the youth now swims, amongst the fishes,
life is giveth, death is taketh,
water, water for that youth,
water, water, that is all.

Friend…

Did you know that I think of you as a friend?
Maybe not eh? Its alright if you don’t treat me like one,
Let me earn that keep, so I won’t take it for granted.

But you know, friend…
If you’re a planet, I’m just a passing comet, that just fly wheezing past you for a moment.
I wish I could stay longer, but its alright, let’s make up for the loss time.

You know, if you’re under fire,
and you’re strapped down in the bunker, or that foxhole
Reach out to the radio. Dial in.
You’ve got me, I’ve got all the arsenal trained on wherever you want me to shoot at;
Barrages of bullets, bombs, missiles, flares, anything…

I have nothing to offer, but if you permit,
I would like to smile at you always.
Or at least make you smile.
You know, that’s what I think I’ll like to do as a friend,
At least let me help you to get you a smile of happiness.

Sometimes its kinda tiring,
Especially if things get repeated too many times,
But hey, Just call if you need my hand again,
I’ll stretch it longer, I’ll hold out longer, and grip with more power.
I promise that. =)

And yeah, yeah, I know, I know…
I’ve got a mouth that pierces even the deaf,
Confuses even the great Confucious himself,
and definitely annoys even the most patience of all
But hey, hey… I’m on your side, you know?

Sometimes I feel like an alien,
Sometimes I feel so light and high like a paper riding on wind,
Sometimes I feel so great, at times so down,
Sometimes I feel it, that urge to really go all out,
Everytime, when you need me, gimme a holler.

Because I’ll be there for you, and I’ll make sure I’ll do all I could do.
Because I’m the Transporter, I’m the Joker, and I’m certainly Badi,
Because I deliver, I’m the all-licensed Fool, and I’m certainly being myself.
Because why? I’m your friend. That’s why. Don’t ask why.
Because I’m definitely treating you like a friend, even if you don’t ask for it.

Dedicated to the following in my memory of them:

Lim Wen Hong
Nuri Lim Wee Shee
Anish Raja Thanimalay
Uncle Vijay Saravanen Vasudevan
Cheng Choon Hsiang
Chan Kuo Wei
Lim Ju Vian (Juvian, a.k.a “Rapunzel”)

The last article / blog post that I made gave a very strong emphasis on the causal relationship between the concept / idea of loveless-ness to the institution of marriage. In this post, I want to emphasize a certain aspect that holds a vital value to any relationship, be it friends, colleagues, partners, marriage, heated rivalry, any two way relationship; one keyword that remains elusive from the limelight; “Affinity”.

What exactly is affinity? It itself is a terminology, and it also exist as a concept. In its pure, baisc form, affinity is the “natural liking, compatibility rate and prone-ness(fondness?) towards the attraction of one another”. Affinity itself is not attraction, but here are some sentenced examples to describe them:

“He and she have affinity for one another”
“Badi has affinity for high speed rallys”
“She has an affinity for cooking”

So probably and hopefully, even if you’re not a linguist you might get the jist, or have an idea of how the word is used. Having settled that, perhaps we can now move on to a working concept on “spiritual affinity”.

Spiritual affinity is a slightly different concept from that of affinity. It includes and revolves itself around the scope to bring in light the context of spiritual values. Hence, spiritual affinity deals alot about creating and maintaining appreciation for the spiritual values within oneself and the other partner, as well as vice versa. Affinity is a two way process, and it isn’t affinity if it is only one sided or one way.

I was thinking how to best elaborate this example when I was caught stranded for nearly few hours during my scooter’s ‘major operation’ just this afternoon. Basically, by the time the scooter was returned to me, it felt like a different scooter and it reacted differently. Hence, I had to redevelop and reexamine the ‘affinity’ between us, the human rider and the machine. For now, that is the best example I can give.

Spiritual affinity is a key element in maintaining and growing relationships to another level. Whether positive or negative, it solely depends on our ‘reaction’ towards the new knowledge that we acquire about the spiritual values of the other person. In developing the spiritual affinity, we may see its fruits in terms of ‘right chemistry’, ‘riding the same wavelength’, ‘thinking the same thing’, ‘on the same track of thought’, etc. Basically, people with strong spiritual affinity may not act the same way, but their goals are the same. The same thing goes with their philosophy that guides their thoughts, action, and mind. These emotions that we show to appreciate the presence, thoughts, acts and words of others manifest itself in the form of love, where love for your own kin, love akin to your kin, love akin to the other soul, love akin to the friend, and many more. The admiration empathy is shown both way, and it bears to growth and exercise of other spiritual qualities in ourselves, like self-sacrifice, kindness, confidence, and so forth.

To provide deeper insight into spiritual affinity, I’ll set up a case for example. Let us say, imagine, on a boy and a girl, say Jack and Jill. So they don’t know each another, but Jack and Jill becomes ‘acquintance’. As they communicate and do things together, they learn more about each another. While learning about each another, (whether directly, indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally), both Jack and Jill develops appreciation of their own spiritual qualities, as well as noticing and acknowledging the qualities in one another. Just for sake of simplicity, I will assume here that they now react positively to the discovery and appreciation of the spiritual qualities found within and between them. With this appreciation, Jack and Jill’s affinity bears the fruit of friendship, and it happens naturally. The process is ongoing, and it doesn’t stop, as they continue to communicate. Jack and Jill discovers some spiritual ‘loopholes’ in each another, but again they react positively to it, working on it, and thus the spiritual affinity is brought to a whole new level. At this point, they discover things like how each other mind’s tendencies and mental models, as well as changing and adapting to the new discovery , if they react positively to that change and discovery.

Now, let’s bring the test case to a higher ante. Jack and Jill work very well together. They don’t exactly complement one another, but they appreciate the nature of each another, and has already developed empathy and tolerance towards each another’s shortcomings, as well as appreciation for their strengths and good qualities. Here, assuming that ‘love for one another’ forms between them, they learn to ignore the bad side of things. However, the understanding that they have developed, the affinity which they attained is already quite solid, and it bears the fruits. In certain cases, Jack and Jill may not be a couple, but they retain the emotions, and attain a deeper appreciation for each another, just like perhaps say, a brother and sister, or very close, intimate friend. The level of intensity of the emotions may not be that high, but the affinity that has linked them together will still continue to develop, depending on the emotional reaction towards each another’s changes and adaptations (also depends on the transformations that Jack or Jill experiences individually).

Hence, I end this subject, having allowed myself to present my thoughts as simple and as concise as possible. Should you have questions, please feel free to ask me, or drop a comment.

The first post was lost, but its alright.

Last night, as of 21st July 2007, God granted me a revelation. I have long dwelled on a question; can a couple marry, and sustain that marriage with absolutely zero love? Hence, after witnessing a real life confession from a friend, and some dreams that night (I prayed to God to give some insights, I came to this conclusion)
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..
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….
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What is love?
Let us cut some slack. Depending on your background and notions about love, one may want to define love as the force attracting two souls, to one another. Or, two individuals to one another, if you don’t believe in souls. Agree?

Alright, assuming that you agree to the notion above, (which I’m trying my very best to be NOT lengthy [chiong hei in cantonese] or bombastic, or whatever), let’s move on to the topic at hand. I came to a realization that even without such a force of “love” (the one above), two individuals can still marry and sustain that marriage.

I’m saying that because I’ve seen one in front of my eyes. Two people from two totally different backgrounds, two different religious upbringing, but they have a wonderful family together (they have 2 very active sons) and WOW! Its unbelievable!

And the man admitted. He married his good friend. Note. Its not girlfriend, best friend, or special friend. He married his GOOD FRIEND! So, what made his marriage took off like some rocket? (No kayutshas here, please)

Love, Affinity, Marriage, Babbling. One of the biggest questions that I’ve always wanted to explore, was the idea of having a couple to marry with zero or no love. Before we go though, let us take a quick examination at the concept that defines “love”.

Now, before we can move on, what defines love? Basically we have many words, description, adjectives and such that attempts to describe what is love. Suffice to say, the concept of “love” in the context of interrelationship between two souls, can be generally assumed as “a binding force that attracts and bonds two souls (or individuals if you don’t like the word soul) together spiritually, emotionally, mentally together with a mutual attraction to one another”.

So having settled that, let us move with the definition of marriage. Its a commitment, its a legal bond, its a social contract that is well understood between two parties, a man and a woman (and man and man, or woman with another woman, but we won’t want to touch on that here), acting together as a husband and wife, with an intention to build a family together (irregardless with or without child). Does this sound plausible? If you think so, we can now move on to other things in this blog.

Suffice to speak, the Baha’i Writings offer many beautiful quotations on the aspects of marriage, from many perspectives and angles, coupled with many beautiful analogies. (It even speaks of the beauty of that relationship in life after death, in the many worlds of God) To help you look at some, I suggest that you look up for the Ocean Research Library. Download, update, and type “marriage”. You’ll be amazed! Just to draw your attention to one quote, which I’m using it as one of the foundations for what I’m writing today.

Bahá’í marriage is union and cordial affection between the two parties. They must, however, exercise the utmost care and become acquainted with each other’s character. This eternal bond should be made secure by a firm covenant, and the intention should be to foster harmony, fellowship and unity and to attain everlasting life…

In a true Bahá’í marriage the two parties must become fully united both spiritually and physically, so that they may attain eternal union throughout all the worlds of God, and improve the spiritual life of each other. This is Bahá’í matrimony.

(Abdu’l-Baha, Baha’i World Faith – Abdu’l-Baha Section, p. 372)

So, back to the original question. Can a marriage be conceived, sustained and progress with zero love? (Remember, I’m talking about the love which the one which I made the assumption above) My opinion is YES. As of 21st July 2007, I had witnessed before my eyes, when my friends reveal his story that he married his good friend (yes, you heard it; good friend, not best friend, not girlfriend, not special friend, not just any friend. Just a good friend). So imagine my shock and awe when I heard this coming straight from the horses’s mouth. To give a clearer picture of this friend of mine; he has a wife who’s of a different religion, education background, upbringing, social status. There is very little in common between them. However, as of today they have 2 wonderfully active kids (physically, really) and I pray that these children will grow up into magnificent souls. Because every children can. So this is my friend. And his wife (who was not present there, after all I don’t know her that well)

So when we went deeper in the discussion, I noticed few certain keywords. Friendship, affinity, reciprocity, tolerance.

This couple works traditionally in the sense that sometimes, there is a veto struggle in many decisions, especially the children’s education and upbringing. Yet, there is very little conflict between them, and they are similarly content with one another, even though sometimes the process of achieving that decision is quite ‘undemocratic’ or does not meet the standard of consultation. Sounds just like any normal family, right? Yet there exist no love, but there exist the few elements which I’ve mentioned earlier.

I would not like to dwell too deep in certain elements, like the concepts of the elements of friendship, affinity, reciprocity and tolerance because they might detract the notion and idea that I’m presenting; that I believe that marriages with ‘zero love’ can actually work out.

To the main argument; yes there are quotes like “love conquers everything”, “with love this / that is possible”, etc etc. I will have to assume that you (as a reader) can perceive the notions of the power / capability of love as an emotion which we can draw our energies from to perform even the seemingly impossible task. Just look around, twitterpats (check up www.urbandictionary.com to get the meaning, its basically “people who fell in love”) do many things that people who know them individually might not want / will do. The influence and power of love propels these couples to greater heights. No doubt about that. Now, it is of course natural to assume that when these couple get married (which may not necessarily happen, as I tell you, since individuals do go over break ups before finding a life long partner whom they love), they also maintain that love for each another, and the marriage is now carried to greater heights.

Is that not wonderful? That is the power of love. However, let us have a look at how certain things work, particularly love. (I know, my friend.. I’m again using “look at around the society and that’s reality” thingy again.. Just can’t help it). Loves demand nurture, and demands culture. (You know, like culturing yeast? You still need to care for it) It is within the human nature that sometimes we tend to forget about the things that we had taken for granted, like a long cultivated feeling of love for one another. And when the feeling is lost, or the spark is lost in these kind of marriages, (the love-emotion driven ones) these marriages turn into turmoil. Spouses complaining that they don’t understand his / her other part now, or lacking the spark in their lives, and then in many cases, where when someone else can give that spark, they leave their current spouses behind, and go off with the new one, for something “fresh”.

The idea seems complicated, but let’s look at the analogy of nourishment. Our body needs nourishment to sustain itself. Same as marriage, it is an entity that requires nourishment from all the parties concerned for it to sustain itself and growth. Ideally, like our body, it requires a staple food, with many varieties. For South East Asians, our staple food is rice. Chicken, beef, mutton, curry, sambal, all are but variants that changes daily or per meal depending on our wants and tastes.

The same way goes with love. At this point I do know that I may incur your opposition, but please remember that this is a theory, an approach from my understanding of how things happen, with the biasness and objectivity to achieve “whether it is possible to have a marriage and sustain such an institution with lack or zero “quantitative” amount of love. Hence, in respect to the analogy of nutrition above, what I’m actually suggesting is to look at the ingredient “love” as no more but an ingredient in the food, not the staple food. However, should you (as a reader) feel that this idea / theory is inconsistent or flawed in one way or another, please feel free to comment. I would enjoy having a discussion with you.

One of the many reason why I said so is that I solemnly believe that “love” (think of it as an ingredient) is something that we don’t just give and take for granted. It is something that we process out of our desire, our wish, our will. It is a rare and precious commodity, and we only have so much (to a certain amount, or limit) before it runs out and needs to be recharged / refilled. However, it is IMPORTANT to realize that when a married couple do things, they can get the job done. However, when you add LOVE in it, it inspires and motivates, it spurs the completion rate, the quality, the effectiveness, etc. Love by itself does not create things. However, it is a very strong catalyst which when used properly, can cause many wonderful things to happen. This is true in the case of Abdu’l-Baha (The Master)’s words;

“Where there is love, nothing is too much trouble and there is always time”

So how does it go? I see it that there will always be trouble in marriages, but when the couple is commited, with the affinity that has developed between the couple, prior to the marriage, then YES, a couple can get married with ZERO LOVE.

It may sound a lil’ open ended, but its editable. This will be a growing topic as more things are added on.

So, not love. So now, what?

Okay, let’s have a look at affinity.

By means of affinity, let’s have a look at the wonderful poet Kahlil Gibran. In his famous book “The Broken Wings”, he noted that:

“It is wrong to think that love comes from companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is achieved in a moment, it will not be created in years or even generations.”

Love is an offspring out of spiritual affinity. Love does not produce spiritual affinity. It is the other way round. So, if someone as astounding can perceive through this veil, maybe we should give time to ponder about it. Another thing to point out, two of my friends, one is Peter Gardner, another is “Rapunzel”.
Peter Gardner said this:

I think that character and the quality of communication become the most important aspect of a fruitful marriage. Love can grow quickly or gradually.

To add on to this, another friend of mine, who I call her “Rapunzel”, who added this in her perspective.

“To me, being the traditional girl I am brought up, my parents always tell me, the moment I’m married off, that is my family. He, and I. So irregardless whatever happens, I must be tolerant of him, and there can not be a divorce.It is not permissible to allow it to happen.”

Although there is a different depth to their words (meaning to say the discussion was very long and alot of other aspects have to be taken in), but it reflects the values that they believe which should be taken seriously into account in a relationship. Quality of individual characters, quality of communication, values such as loyalty, trust, tolerance, each of these qualities should take precedence over “unpredictable” qualities such as ‘love’. Please don’t take it the wrong way. I’m not downplaying the value of the appreciation towards ‘love’. However, as an individual, I felt that the value of love has been given too much over-emphasis. We love ‘love’. We enjoy being loved, and given the world we want to love whom we want to love. However, just like how Baha’u'llah wrote in “Seven Valleys”; the steed of love is pain. Many do not ‘buy’ this idea. They prefer to shut out what seems bad and ignore it.

Looking back at some of the examples I have given way above in this quite lengthy blog, I would like to allow myself to cut some slack for everyone; that we have to start examining other qualities that will help ensure the perseverance and fruitation of a holy union, the institution known to mankind as marriage.

And what is spiritual affinity? I’ll rather write it on the next blog focusing on it, since it is a sentence of gravity. (where a whole new label or writing is dedicated to it)

But I’ve stated it. It is possible, and plausible to have marriage with little or ZERO amount of love. =D