Marionette's Mute Musings V2

Now and then, some people’s movie-going experience becomes something no less than a phenomenal experience. It is good if the experience itself provided if the moviegoers themselves learn something and enjoy the entire experience. In our case, for today; it was a complete opposite end of the story.

To be honest, I don’t really watch teen flicks. Be it chick flicks, or just some overhyped teenage story, it doesn’t matter. I just don’t really enjoy watching teen flicks. Well, some of you will argue that I was a teenage once, which is true; but I still don’t watch teen flicks even when I was a teenager myself.

“I talk the talk, and walk the talk, but I heard that some of you can walk and talk”.

Attributed to Clement Chia, brother of Stephanie Chia.

So, for today’s NBTD post, its all about food.

So first thing first; I left IPTI yesterday, and I met Haris in City Square. First stop; Kim Gary (wanted to have sushi but we got turned off because of bad service)

But that’s where our adventure begins!

“Kids, today we’re going to learn the art of estimation just by using your hands on how cookies are made”.

Back then when ACDSee was the top of the list free (not exactly free, but you get the idea of shareware) image viewer, it was plain, nice, and it was even useful! (to scan and delete viruses manually, haha!)

But now certain things outgrow its welcome, very much like WinAmp. But that’s altogether a different thing.

Irfanview has been around for quite some time. Longer than ACDSee it seems. Today, at a recommendation of a friend (Ross, at http://fird.kucing-kelabu.com ), I used it.

And I’m all smiles.

Give it a try!

A poem for my friend:

I know, from the look in your eyes;

From the way you write your words,

How much you missed him so,

How much you desire him so.

You don’t have to say a word,

You know we can see your fear,

You hide your trembling hands away,

You shyly back to a wall near away,

When he is far away,

When he is unreachable, 

When he is yonders away, 

when he is not right there.

Have faith in yourself

Have faith in him

Have faith you yours,

Have faith in his.

Where that’s the trust it counts

Where that’s the emotion you pool

Where that’s the love and joy,

Where that’s the sanctuary of your soul

So why do you cry, I doubt he is leaving,

So why do you sob, the byes aren’t worth it,

So why don’t you wipe your tears

So why don’t you wait a lil’ more?

Be assured, he is working hard

Be strong, he wishes to see you so

Be calm, for a troubled you troubles him

Be praying, he will return safe and sound

Into your arms, he will return

Into your heart, he will enter

Into your soul he will seek,

Into heaven both of you be.

One of the things that one (or in this case, me) can do to alleviate an emotional stir, especially when it comes to a point where it occupies my mind; is to shed it off by writing. Writing to shave off the thoughts isn’t exactly bibliotheraphy. Yet, it was the most effective “emotional management” (because it encompasses more than anger management) control measure that I have practiced, since my days as a very angsty, grumpy young boy. (Maybe that’s why I have a permanent brow line on my forehead). It also works to alleviate the thoughts that occupy my line, even if it is just one liner sentence. I don’t know, and I can’t track where I developed this trait. I really don’t know. Perhaps if I ever got to dig up some really, really old scrapbook where I drew more than I wrote; maybe some insights would probably tell me what happened. I really can’t remember. Maybe I’m refusing to remember, but I really can’t. But I know one thing works; that is writing a piece of my mind works to shave off that troubling thought.

When one experiences a very intense emotion; irregardless whether it’s bad or good, its always good to pen it down. At least, that’s how I see it.

My emotions are intense; always. I blame others for something I also have fault, I find myself in an emotional and mental limbo because I try to cross the line to the other world, but carrying what I believed in. I just can’t.

There are many groups of people, and I just wanted to respect their group. No condenscending “my beliefs > yours”, no “we’re just different. You, and I, are from two different groups.” Maybe, there are lots of differences, still I made up with what I believe was being “gentleman-ly”. But there’s nothing that is “gentleman-ly”, and I’m outcast of my group. It isn’t a physical group of people. It is the group of people whom I belong to, categorically. I try to seek to understand, although my mind is at fault for many things. I try to seek understanding, although I get reprimanded by my group who hold on to the belief that they are right, and the others who don’t share the same view as “incorrect”. But why the “correct” and “incorrect” mindset? Sure, I may not be agreeable to all, but doesn’t it boil down to “I agree because it benefits me”, or “I disagree because there’s something about / connected to me will be / could be affected”. That’s why consultation comes in. 

Don’t really mind me; as usual take it with a pinch of salt. You may be right, I may be wrong. And I could always be wrong. And I can be never right any time, not even the first time. You can be right all the time for all I care; but if you can’t put that point across convincingly; I can be as stubborn as others.

I believe in dictatorship; I believe in power control of an elected group. I believe in de-centralization of power.I believe in semi-autonomy of leadership. I believe in chain of command (principally). I believe in the prime principles of consultation. I believe in rights to voice out thoughts and rights to obtain transparent knowledge. I also believe the right to trust that one who obtains and disseminate the knowledge is to be trusted with his / her job.

When I start to think, many people say I overthink. That is true. I start speculating. I start looking at how I want to look at it. I also start to deconstruct knowledge, but I don’t voice it out. I start to look at certain things from more than 1 angle, but still limited to certain scopes. Yet, I find it refreshing that despite my mental disability (guilty of overthinking) I can still be a source of crude jokes for my friends. Of course, I won’t want to stay this way. I want to be a person who friends can hang out; irregardless whoever / whichever group they come from. Irregardless whether they look at me as a friend or a confidante. Irregardless whether they see me as (an elder / younger) brother figure or a complete bypassing stranger. Irregardless whether they see me as a toy / a tool. As long as the trust that I have invested in you is not broken. That is all that matters.

In the end, the physical body breaks down, because of the mental breakdown. The shell, the hull, the caraspace, all will break, shed. It can only cope to a certain extent. yet like a snake, I shed off my a part of myseif (a piece of my mind), only to forget that it ever existed. Ironically, as much as sometimes I want to forget certain things; I have the urge to record them. Even if it’s bad, ugly, or hideous. In the very end I just want to yell “Yipeekayee, mother****er”, and have a good sleep.

And bring the fight to tomorrow; or shed it, f I ever can.

After a long hiatus from cinema screen, ( I think my last post was on “Flashpoint”, a cantonese movie starring Donnie Yen)

First thing first; Pierce Bronsman can actually sing, although alot of my friends disagreed that he can’t sing beautifully. Irregardless, that isn’t much of the issue. I’m more concerned about the entire feel of the movie. The movie really brings you through a musical journey. It sets the mood, it sets the whole tempo. Little did I know, people were starting to sing in the cinema too. Heh.

For a musical piece, it gets 4.5/5, because there are certains removed that would make the story more interesting (as compared to the drama series).

Today I read somewhere, if I’m going to start changing how I think about myself, I could adopt a few methods to “brand” myself.

One of the ways was to list down 5 good things about myself (or done to myself by myself), daily. Sounds easy, but it may be not. But that’s a start. But that’s not what it is about.